The "Americans for Dignity Act". That would have been a splendid name to attain swift and non-controversial passage of a pending bill that would further extend unemployment insurance benefits. The bill, scheduled to pass this week, extends benefits to 99 weeks (one can only figure that the political calculation was that 100 would appear excessive. Items priced as $2.99 are considered a bargain; $3.00 is over the top). But if Democrats had just called it the Americans for Dignity Act they could have pushed benefits out for 40 more years.
Think of it. Who would dare commit political suicide by opposing an act of this name?
Fiscally responsible senator: We should make extended benefits deficit neutral.
Spendthrift senator: Are you saying you're AGAINST dignity?
Thoughtful senator: Wouldn't more benefits just deter people from finding work?
Blowhard senator: Mean-spirited bigot; trampling on those seeking DIGNITY!
Bush had the PATRIOT Act. We all want to be patriots, correct?
Other brilliant ideas for naming bills:
Want to ram through Stimulus Part 2 at, say, $13 Trillion dollars? May I suggest "Save our Country Act"
Unfettered access to food stamps and fine wine? The "Keep Citizens from Starving Act". Oops, that may appear too anti-illegal immigrant. Better call it the "Keep Humans Alive Act". Then again, PETA may object.
How about outlawing political dissent on the airwaves? The "Americans for Truth and Equality Act" should do the trick.
Who dares stand against saving our country, preventing starvation, and the defense of truth and equality?
Hello 1984.
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